This is my short tale regarding my introduction to the world of great epics like Ramayana and Mahabharata and to great Santana Dharma .Krishna and me is beautiful tale of my own experiences with the flute player
Krishna & Me
One day in the year 1999 Krishna came into my life when I was barely 8 years old in the form of Bhagawat Geeta at that time I never knew what it was .There used to be sat -sang in my house where people used to come to my place for chanting and discussing the chapters. But then at that time I used to sit in sat -sang hall without any interest as I didn’t understand a bit of subject. I used to ask where god is? , But people used to tell me that “God is everywhere”. I couldn’t understand what it meant then
But one day when parents had gone out and my brother were playing outside. I only knew one thing which my mother taught me then was “I am not alone god is with me” .So I started saying that I am not alone instead of god I used to put Krishna is with me. I felt strange strength and all my fears were gone as I could feel his presence
As the days, years month passed by we used have this routine thing of having sat -sang in my house and people used to come in and they used to chant Bhagawat Geeta and discuss it. Which actually become bore for me as I was in pre-mature to mature stage .But then as I become matured I understand it ……….. What my Krishna wanted me to understand. By the time I finished school and entered my college life. I practically forgot about my friend. I started expecting things from life which Alas! Let me to disappointment .But still I would yearn something like “Having good bunch of friends” “Having good professors” which I got…….But which I didn’t like.
In college also instead of taking up ‘Psychology’ my major subject. I was forced to take up ‘Economics’ as my major subject which was torture for me and that which I didn’t like it. I took up the subject with lot of disinterest in me but I started laughing at myself I scored more marks in this subject than others.
‘It’s all his grace’ my family especially my mom used to tell. But nobody in my house used to bother about my hard work I have put in to achieve it and eventually my family used to start spending time in loving Krishna, by singing his hymns, and by making his favorite dishes from milk and dishes from poha ,garlands etc……things for him. I started hating so badly that I used to not look at him as I used to envy him as he had stolen my love from parents &directed it towards him. I started becoming totally averse to this pooja’s
I wondered why they did. Why people pleased him so much to get something from him? “Why he can’t give he gives us the things which we want? As he is supposed to be antaryami (the person who know everything about us) then why the hell people have to pray to him to get their desired fulfilled” I wondered
What did Krishna have I want to see? When I saw him I saw his attractive face that pulled millions of people towards. His attractive face acted like magnet that pulled people towards him .Oh! I see I see I see I thought to myself .But then I wasn’t satisfied and I kept on thinking that it must be hallucination or infatuation that to this image or statue of Krishna people got attracted towards it every time when they look at it and decorated it because they might have come over their deepest fears which on praying to him got allayed off miraculously.
But my faith towards him dangled in mid air as after graduation all my doors to happy life where closed forever even if I put a lot of effort to open it still does not open and there was one allay my fears .As my younger friends got jobs, settled with their life partners etc… easily but mine life was not yet started. I used feel J with those people who got these things easily without any challenge and to those who didn’t utter any word or praise of god .They all got everything in life with any struggle or challenge. I felt left out because I have struggle and face challenges in life. As my entire family were busy with some or the other thing. But what I want or wish to do was Big question in my life…….So I started helping my Papa in his office with his office work .But in the beginning I felt happy but later on I felt bored as I felt my creativity is lost so I started writing any random thought in my book and I am not avid romantic book reader . As I wanted to know about romance as I came across many of my friend who feel in love, grew in love and stayed in love forever .I wanted how they did this and maintained it forever . For the first time in my life I purchased Mills and Boons books to enter in the world of Romance and to feel what my friends felt about love and Romance. I felt it fragrance through books.
When my grand mom was alive she used to be the solace to my heart or balm to my ego as I used to flaunt my this friend to everyone … But when she left us forever and left me all alone . I felt as if one part of me is gone ………as she was strong support. So I started to live in just a word called “HOPE” that which we always have to live in this world.
But then one day I decided to teach this Krishna the great Man – Mohanna a lesson. I went to the temple which was nearby my house. I started arguing with him and start asking him the most important question as to “why he is not fulfilling things which I want him to fulfill like he did for others” In the meantime Panditji gave me Prasad and said ‘Everything happens for good as he the scriptwriter ,director ,producer and everything’ he says it with smile ‘But then ……. I bit my own tongue as I didn’t want to argue further with this friendly Panditji. It’s ok all right whatever you said is right Panditji’ I say and leave the temple after doing ‘pradakshina’ of the temple.
I felt visiting the temple didn’t solve any problems nor did I get results as I thought of it I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I came home without any results but with satisfaction that I have given firing or vented my rotten feeling to him as my life felt like an empty glass .As I entered the living room my mother come with tea in a tray and asked me “So madam did you argue with Krishna and lost the battle no na” she asks her mock teasingly .Feeling light now she asks with concern in her voice . Chalo then its good.
‘Yes’ Ma I reply and say but I am still annoyed with him as you know he is so attractive that you don’t have heart to argue with you just get mesmerized with his charms but at same time he does such things with my life I feel ‘helpless’ and ‘hopeless’ sometimes and frustrated with him as he know me very well what I have gone through in these years …. I have had enough of patience to deal with this situation in my life .Enough is Enough I can’t take any more I say it my eyes misted and with a pain…..
That’s true my child she says and leaves to keep the teacups and tray in the kitchen. When Good time starts things will automatically fall in place as our life is based on ‘Law of Karma’ you know it very well beta she says to me by giving a tender smile
‘Yep’ I nod and go inside and sit to do some work on my P.C. I tried to write an article for a children magazine but alas I wrote something else it felt like some subject notes. Ha-ha I laughed at own writing and that day I learnt never to lose hope through my own writing experiments even though I might not have any degree literature or done any creative writing course .
This is what Krishna wanted me learn I thought to myself and tell my mother what happened when I sat down in front of P.C. to write and she said laughing “ I told na Trust Krishna and he will do wonderful things for you in life”. But I turn deaf ears and go inside to my room .Then I thank me for this small success for opening my eyes to the world which made me believe that ‘I can do’ and ‘I must do’. Later that evening I sat to do the meditation which my friends Tejal and Tara taught me as they used to tell me “You think positive and to visualize Krishna as whatever you want make him as ……… and to find true love.” She thought to herself as she was sitting down and meditating on him as my dearest friend, philosopher guide and a perfect soul mate
Finally one day on my 26th birthday as I went to buy vegetables from our local vendor near my place late in evening when traffic was pick in our area . I was unable to cross the road on my way back home. I felt his presence in form of my dear friend Krishna accidently whose name also is Krishna & who was coming back from his office looking tired in his own car he offered me a lift to my place I felt little awkward and in today’s times we can’t trust people easily even though he is my dear good friend but I fear a lot I refused his help and determined to find a Rick for myself with one hand holding my hands and other hand waving to stop an empty Rick was highly impossible task .Having lost I fume a lot and go to some other place to stand and take rest for a while and then hunt for an empty Rick . It was getting darker and darker and when I saw the time in my watch that showed 08:45pm I gulped a lump in my throat it was almost one hour after I left home for vegetable shopping . Then suddenly my eye went to my dear friend car he was still waiting or standing there and watching me and giving me mischievous grin as if nothing has happened to me and he didn’t see anything. He came and helped me cross the road and took the vegetable placed it back seat of the car and told me sit in front I was very apprehensive but I taught of my temple Krishna and mentally worship him to protect me till I reach home and then sat in front seat. I felt his presence through my friend Krishna who had his features and who was Tall, Dark and Handsome like him and kept on entertaining me when we were stuck in “Traffic” the horrible traffic in Mumbai .
I felt like true and blissful love happening to me and I wished to have him all by my side all throughout my life if he decides I think warily. As the car come to halt he said destination reached and wished me ‘Happy Birthday’ as he was handing over my vegetable bags and I blurted out my Thanks to him and bid him goodbyes before I went inside my building. It was a strange feeling but yet a good feeling as I entered my house with board smile my family especially my mother surprised to see me giving them a board smile and asked me “what happened?” and when I told them all that happened today evening when I went to local vender for vegetable show. They all laughed at me and said “This is what happens when you Trust Bansuriwala Krishna”
Today when I see him with my open or closed eyes. I feel Romantic a true love flowing through him to me and that love has taught me forgive people who irritated me, teased me for what I am today.
As I found true love in Krishna my love of my life and others life .Though Today I don’t attend Satsang and listen to Geeta lecture. But I love my Man ka chor Krishna till the end of my last breath like other people do. Krishna you took my heart away from me and made me fall in love with you
Love you my childhood best friend you are the best. Oh my dear Bansuriwala Krishna my divine love my divine hero you are best person in the entire world.
And Thank you Amma for telling me to fall in love with him to see the wonderful things happening in my life and telling his love stories to me and I found my bliss there even if I argue with him praise him in my style .Today standing next to Krishna makes me mushy and makes me feel attractive too and with the kids surrounding you in the Building Garden who are love with you. Your are charmer you charm people of all age groups with your looks mischievous smiling playing on your lips ,flute and with your tales and etc….things by which you attract them
With Lots of Hugs and Love